Ooof. Where to begin?
I wrote the post below months ago. I procrastinated a day and Irma happened. Then Maria happened. While we came through unscathed, we were the lucky ones and so it seemed petty and selfish and childish and every other unflattering word to post the following. Our hearts ache for those who lost everything but their lives to the storms. We also know the numbness may just now be fading and the full force of raw emotions might just now be surfacing for those hit. With that in mind, I almost hit delete on this completely. But, still, it accurately depicts our transition to land(ish) life.
Things have been put in perspective since I wrote it, that’s all.
Re-Entry (September 7)
Sorry for yoinking the blog down with no notice. There was a reason and I will get to explaining why in a minute. First, what have we been doing the last several weeks? We have been “re-entering” the real world. Unfortunately, we did so in an incredibly cringe-worthy, ungraceful, manner.
I would liken our transition to that of landing a small boat, say an inflatable dinghy, on a beach. Through pounding breaking surf. From a distance, from, like, way out beyond the surf where the water is calm, transitioning our cruising direction didn’t look too difficult. Upon approach, though. Yikes. It was ugly for moments. We hadn’t expected to end our cruising season so early, we hadn’t thought it would end where we had started from, and we didn’t know where we were going next. I already wrote about how lost we were. Swirls of indecision, doubt, uncertainty, excitement, and a sense of loss overtook every thought and discussion. Like being tossed in confused seas, we clung to thoughts for only moments before clinging to the next. We do this when what is in front of us isn’t wholly grasping our attention, we’ve experienced this before, but we have never experienced this so intensely. It was a ride. Sometimes a random feeling of doubt just drenched me, like being slapped in the face by a cold wave of water. What now, what next, is this really the end? I did not process this transition well. At times, it felt like we were going to capsize. I mean, we almost sold the boat—WTH?! They said untying the lines was the hardest part of cruising. No. Retying them is the hardest part!
We didn’t capsize. Our little emotionally drenched selves pulled both feet up on the sand. And, now, as we look out at where we came from, we can now put it all in perspective. It is not where we envisioned ourselves to be right now, but that is okay. Life is good. While we debated sell, don’t sell, Alaska now, Alaska next season, turn around and sail right back out…. Life, in the background, just sorted itself out for us. Keith effortlessly slipped back into his old company. I sent out one resume and had a response within thirty minutes. And easily as that, some of the questions were answered. I guess we are settling down- right here-and making some money-right now. My windows at work overlook the water and if I took my binoculars in, I think I might be able to even see our mast. It’s been a long time since I spent eight hours in doors, those windows have been my lifesaver the last two weeks! I have a feeling they will continue to be.
This also answers what happened to the blog- I removed it because I know social media checks would be part of my pre-employment background check. I thought my nomadic ways might get me rejected before making it through the first gate. In fact, I suspect that there will be much fewer posts for a while. Posting big dreams on social media while trying to remain employed in a corporate environment is probably the equivalent to throwing water in a diesel tank. For now, I am going to go old-school with a pretty, paper journal and a fancy pen. Though, I do have some posts planned for our recent boat projects (she is looking pretty) and some recaps/reflections on our first few years of cruising (what an amazing time).
Thank you so much for understanding! I’ve felt out of touch since not blogging, good to be back.
P.S. Boat NOT for sale (you may read between the lines if you’d like)